Many confuse Memorial Day with honoring our living veterans and currently serving servicemen and women. That’s Veterans Day. Memorial Day is about remembering and honoring those who served our country that have passed on, especially those who died while serving on active duty.

I’m a veteran who also—as a professional writer and publisher—deals in memories and the stories of other veterans making sure they do not fade with time and become lost and forgotten. I’ve spoken, worked, and spent time with many of our most decorated veterans from World War II, the Korean and Vietnam wars, the Cold War, and the 21st-century War on Terror. They want to get down the WhatWhere and When of life-shaping events in their lives… and often the Why. And every day, not just Memorial Day, they want to honor those they served with that have died. Their stories help serve that purpose, and they have deepened my appreciation for the holiday.

My friend, Jim Zumwalt shared in his book: Bare Feet Iron Will | Stories from the Other Side of Vietnam’s Battlefields, a perhaps apocryphal story that in late 1968, during a Viet Cong mortar attack against Tan Son Nhut Air Base in Saigon, Vietnam a memorial chapel was destroyed. A few days later, as a chaplain passed by its ruins, his eye caught the edge of an object among the rubble. He pulled it out to find a board upon which was inscribed a poem of unknown origin:

Not for fame or reward,

Not for place or rank,

Not lured by ambition

or goaded by necessity,

But in simple obedience

as they understood it.

These men suffered all,

dared all, and died.

Lest we forget… lest we forget…

So, in the rubble was found something that admonishes us. Destruction and death—especially witnessed at first hand—sobers and alters us, and perhaps that gives the words above greater import. It makes us pause and reflect on our own mortality and appreciate what we still have that others have lost. We have few ruins—or sites of such—in the United States that evoke similar thoughts, but have many buildings and monuments that should make us grateful for those the structure honors and value the sacrifice they made. The best and most lasting are those erected on firm ground, resolutely attached to the bedrock underneath, stable and able to bear great loads, withstanding wind or storm. Societies and nations are built the same way. But not with bricks and mortar. A country is made of the character of its people manifested in the traditions of its history and the principles it espouses. Some individuals stand out for contributing more to that history—often becoming the sum and substance of a nation’s foundation—so that the ‘center does hold.’ Like mortar and stone, it is their blood and bone—their grit and determination—that joins us.

Over two centuries our land has become dotted with remembrances in stone of the men and women who wore our nation’s military uniform, swearing an oath to protect and defend all we hold dear. The cloth they wore is the fabric of hopes and dreams of the past, present, and the future. And many died so young… so very, very young.

“We have shared the incommunicable experience of war. We have felt, we still feel, the passion of life to its top… In our youth, our hearts were touched with fire.”—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (who served as a young Union soldier in our Civil War)

At Valley Forge (I know, not a battle but a turning point in our country’s history), the Continental army was bloody and beaten, ready to quit… but didn’t. At Gettysburg, the Meuse-Argonne, Guadalcanal, the Battle off Samar, Leyte Gulf, Bastogne, the Battle of Chosin Reservoir, Getlin’s Corner, Khe Sanh, in the USS STARK and USS COLE, Baghdad, Fallujah, Kandahar and many other places—domestic and foreign—known and regrettably unknown. So many places men and women have served our nation and lost their lives.

Their gravestones, monuments, and memorials stand to remind us of their sacrifice. The markers of their death—those placards above their resting place—should forever call to us in a voice above a whisper that it is these men and women above all, who should be honored and remembered this Memorial Day. No matter where they rest, they are forever rooted deeply in that bedrock—in the stone—of our nation.

“They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.”

—Laurence Binyon, ‘For the Fallen’ (1914), just before the slaughter on the Western Front in WWI.

General Richard ‘Butch’ Neal, USMC (Ret.) used the following as a dedication epigraph in his memoir What Now, Lieutenant? Leadership Forged from Events in Vietnam, Desert Storm and Beyond:

“From this day to the ending of the world,

We in it shall be remembered,

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he today that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother…”

William Shakespeare

I’ll share with you a brief vignette from Butch that’s a fitting close to this perspective on Memorial Day. A chance meeting he told me about at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as we were finishing work on his book. When I heard it, I knew we had to add to his story. The Marine mentioned in it—John Bobo—died providing defensive fire for his men after his leg was blown off in a battle that pitted a North Vietnamese Army (NVA) battalion of 700+ men against the approximately 150 men of Company I, Third Battalion, Ninth Marines, Third Marine Division. Of the seven officers in the field at the beginning of that battle, only three walked out. Butch was one of them and afterward was awarded his first Silver Star. Here’s what he told me (that became the postscript to end his book):

Recently, as was my custom, I stopped at the Vietnam Wall just to see the names and think for a few minutes about my Brothers. As I stood in front of Panel 17E looking at the fifteen names all clustered around row 70, a little elderly lady (a grandmother type, my age) moved almost in front of me. I was about to step back to give her more room when I realized she was one of the volunteers that help people at the Wall find names, and learn the history, etc. She was polite and said she was looking for row 70. I pointed it out to her and asked. “What name are you looking for?”

“John Bobo.” Her eyes hadn’t stopped scanning the names.

I almost fell over. I pointed to his name.

“Thank you. I’m doing a pencil etching of his name. Someone requested it on our website,” she said.

Talk about a coincidence, it’s a small world, whatever, but it was an amazing happenstance. “John was a Medal of Honor recipient,” I told her. She immediately checked her list, nodding her head when she saw that was so. “Thank you for what you’re doing,” I told her then turned away to continue my walk, happy although it was cold, raining and the cherry blossoms had not yet exploded. There were those—other than me—who would not let my Brothers be forgotten.

Butch Neal

This Memorial Day, please take a moment to pay respect to—and remember—those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while serving our country.

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